We are proud to print an article about aspects of coping with sleep during bereavement from the perspective of a widow called Sara Bailey. Sara sadly lost her husband and has found that she would very much like to help others in the same position as her by writing this article about how to try and sleep better when grieving. Please take a moment to read her words and we all hope they help.

Ask Yourself What YOU Can Do to Sleep Better Through Grief

Grief is a time of intense changes. You don’t feel like yourself, and the tough emotional and physical realities often make it hard to sleep. Grieving the loss of a loved one is a process that you can’t rush, but understanding what’s keeping you up and changing some routines can help you rest better.

Is your bedroom a relaxing space?

When your thoughts and feelings are keeping you up, you have to quiet your mind in order to relax and sleep. Don’t underestimate the power of your environment to impact these feelings. This is especially important if you have lost your spouse. Redecorating your bedroom can make it feel more tranquil and give you a sanctuary that is all your own. Start by choosing a color for your bedroom walls that is more conducive to sleep. Earth tones and lighter colors are soothing, whereas bright colors are energizing and could interfere with sleep. Then add accessories and comfortable bedding in complimentary soothing tones.

Are you comfortable at night?

Comfort may sound minor when grief makes it hard to sleep, but you want to do everything you can to eliminate problems. Many people don’t realize that they’re using the wrong type of mattress for their sleeping position, and getting the right one may be part of the solution. You may also want to check the temperature in your room. According to Mind Body Green, our bodies are programmed to sleep when the temperature is lower at night. Replicate that natural temperature drop by setting your thermostat lower.

Are you working with your body’s natural sleep rhythms?

Even when you’re going through a tough time like grief, our bodies have natural rhythms that regulate sleep. When sleep habits are erratic, your sleep rhythm gets out of balance. Going to sleep at a consistent time and having a regular bedtime routine is the best way to get that rhythm back on track. It may take a few nights of sticking with your routine for your body’s internal clock to catch on, so be consistent.

Sleep technology devices, such as the FitSleep, can also facilitate this process. This device helps you get into a deep sleep faster and helps you sleep more efficiently. The important thing with using tech devices is to find the right ones that are backed by evidence so you don’t waste money on gadgets that don’t really make any difference.

Does your bedtime routine include relaxation?

Not only should your bedtime routine be consistent, but it also needs to be focused on relaxation. To start, be mindful of what does NOT promote relaxation. Using electronics before going to sleep, and even having them in your bedroom, is not conducive to relaxing. Screens emit blue light that interferes with your natural sleep cycle. Not to mention, being constantly connected can add to stress.

Instead of checking social media or the news at night, dedicate some time to relaxing activities. The blog Dreams recommends using relaxation techniques, such as progressive muscle relaxation, to calm your body and mind. Along with relaxation techniques, you may benefit from cognitive-behavior therapy, which gives you tools to manage negative thoughts that run through your mind at night.

Are lifestyle factors keeping you up?

When your world feels turned upside down, your daily life probably looks a little different from what you’re used to. This is a time when it’s easy to slip into comfort foods and drop healthy routines like exercise, but doing that may make sleep troubles worse. Exercising is one of the best ways to calm anxiety and sleep better. What you eat and drink also matters. Anything that has caffeine, lots of fat, spice, or sugar can keep you from sleeping well.

Changing things like what you eat at night may seem trivial compared to the feelings of grief, but these small changes can make a big difference. Along with these daily habits, relaxing at night gives your body and mind a break. All these strategies work together to help you tune out negative thoughts and truly unwind for better sleep.

Counselling Therapy following a bereavement

Initially, after the death of a loved one it is natural to experience a period of shock and disbelief. As time goes by, talking about how you feel to family and friends can become more difficult, and bereaved people worry that they may not be ‘moving on’ or ‘coping’ as they should be.  If you have experienced this, you may find that counselling therapy might help you.

To aid with this, we've partnered with experienced counselling therapist Shona Lowe, and are happy to recommend her services. Here's some information from Shona:


I will support you to explore how your loss has affected you in a way which is at your pace and in an environment which is safe, confidential and in which you will feel ready to begin to find ways to cope with your grief.  I am experienced in working with people who have experienced the following after bereavement:

  • Confusion and fear about how they are feeling in their experience of grief 
  • Difficulty doing everyday things like going to work or taking care of themselves or others.
  • Anxiety and panic attacks, forgetfulness, or other stress-related symptoms
  • Feeling angry or guilty
  • Relationship and family difficulties or conflict

Whether you have experienced a sudden traumatic death of a loved one, or lost someone after a long illness, thoughts and feelings can be overwhelming.  Making sense of how to go forward with your own life can be difficult.  Counselling therapy can support and enable you to do so.

Call in confidence: 07583 865 922

Email:  Web:


Did you know that you could keep your loved one close to you forever by having a Pandora style bead made to put on your bracelet?
Only a very small amount of ashes is needed to create a beautiful and precious piece of jewellery.
If you would like any further information, please do not hesitate to get in touch with us on 0113 268 6069.

Sands (Stillborn and Neonatal Death Society)

Sands (Stillborn and Neonatal Death Society) is an important charity which supports anyone affected by the death of a baby before, during or shortly after birth.

It is a sad fact that 17 babies die in the UK every day. As a Funeral Director there is nothing more distressing than arranging the funeral of a baby and the fact that there will be more than 100 taking place every week is a statistic which is hard to deal with.

At this awful time Sands is on hand to provide emotional support and practical advice to all devastated family members who are struggling to cope with the heartache of a very much loved and lost baby.

Although the UK’s stillbirth rate has fallen slightly in recent years it still remains unacceptably high. As well as working to improve the care received by the bereaved, Sands funds vital research aimed at preventing more families having to suffer the loss of a precious baby.

June is Sands Awareness Week and we are supporting this wonderful cause by giving away plants for the garden in return for a donation to this wonderful charity.

Card Payments

We have had a card machine installed in a bid to make the payment process easier for our families should they prefer to pay this way. All cards can now be accepted and we hope this is a useful and helpful facility.

Horse Drawn Funeral

It has been our privilege to conduct the funeral of a very much loved and respected family member whose wish it was to have a traditional Horse Drawn Hearse. The horses were beautifully turned out and the funeral was very dignified and memorable for all those involved. We have joined forces with a local carriagemaster to offer this service to our families in the future.

The Regent Pub

In these hard economic times it is important for a community to pull together. Therefore, we have teamed up with the Regent Pub just down the road from us and are offering our families their catering for the Funeral Tea free of charge.

We are pleased to be working together to help you at a difficult time.


We are pleased to offer the service of a harpist to our families. Berni Byrne is working with us to provide beautiful live music at the funeral as an alternative to recorded songs. Please contact us if you would like more information.


Latvian Funerals

Recently, we were privileged to be asked to look after the funeral arrangements of a much loved and respected lady who was a member of the Latvian community. We would like to let families know that we are in touch with the Latvian Welfare Society and Latvian minister and so, in the sad event that we may be needed, you will be in our safe and knowledgeable care.

Hayley Cropper’s Humanist Funeral in Coronation Street

As a Funeral Director I always feel strangely compelled to watch how funerals are portrayed by soap operas and I am usually frustrated by the sacrifice of attention to detail for the sake of additional drama. However, I applaud ITV for the way Hayley Cropper’s funeral was written. Hayley was far from your average woman and certainly her humanist funeral was a reflection of her character in that it did not follow the norm but demonstrated how moving this untraditional and dignified ceremony can still be.

The “usual” rules were broken: cardboard coffin, no flowers, mourners in bright colours, female pall bearers, a Humanist celebrant, rock music and friends standing up and speaking about what a difference Hayley made. I hope the legacy is that more families will be brave enough to organise a celebration of life service that is totally personal to their loved one, rather than feeling pressurised to conform to the conventional format.

Scottish Piper Funeral

We recently arranged the funeral of a gentleman whose roots lay in Scotland. His family felt that the funeral service would be so much more complete if they had a bagpiper playing. Of course we organised this for them and they liaised with the piper to make sure their chosen music was fitting and suitable. Interestingly, not all Scottish music can be transferred well onto the bagpipes due to their limited range.It is a very moving ceremony for everyone concerned when the piper accompanies the coffin on its final journey and this respectful, Celtic tradition definitely makes for a beautiful and memorable funeral service.

Christmas Tree of Memories

We warmly invite you to visit and take the opportunity to remember a loved one by writing their name or a message on a ceramic heart and placing it on the tree for the Christmas period.

Basic Private Cremation

We understand that some families will only require a simple cremation without the need for any ceremony.

For this reason we are now offering a Basic Private Cremation service for £1,400.00.

Please see our prices page for the full details or telephone us to talk it through.

Thank you!

Karen and Neil from Fisher Funerals would like to thank everyone who visited The Funeral Parlour during the Chapel Allerton Festival. With the help of a very generous donation of 500 plants from Homebase we are proud to announce that we were able to raise £1,261.50 for Martin House Children’s Hospice in honour of a friend of our family.

Thank you everyone!

Our Chapel of Rest opened on 1st July 2013

Please call in and see us if you need some advice or just to say hello.

The kettle is always on.

Get in touch

Fisher Funerals
4 Regent Street
Chapel Allerton Village

Tel: 0113 268 6069